A reader response (to "Female perspective on the male perspective")

I had quite a surprise in my mailbox yesterday: What is so far the longest, most detailed response I've ever had to one of my articles. I feel it makes sense to publish this on it's own rather than going back and editing the original, and it does stand on it's own.

I do hope my readers don't mind that I'm not giving a personal update, and I hope you'll agree that this is a valuable contribution, whether you relate to it or not.

Very interesting article, I'd be happy to add some data. I'm a mid-30s male. Became sexually active at 15 and realized I was interested in butts fairly quickly. By about 18-19, I was very interested in the idea of anal and by about 20 had done it with a girlfriend. Since then, I've been lucky enough to have it factor into each of my sexual relationships (all long-term monogamous ones). Now I'm married to a women who was not really into anal before, but has recently developed a very eager appetite for it and this has allowed me to really open up to her about how passionate I am about it. She always knew I was into it, but I definitely held back a lot of my feelings and would hide a lot of my porn from her because I feared that she would think my love of big gaping buttholes was gross. Since turning a road recently, we're doing almost only anal and are both more sexually gratified than we've ever been.

Looks:

I'm with your husband here and it's something that I always felt kind of bad about as well. Vaginas aren't a turn-off necessarily, though I find a large number of the ones I see are. I like a trim, tidy looking vagina but seeing them splayed open like in porn and seeing big gangly labia hanging off of them doesn't turn me on at all. On the other hand, a female asshole peaking between a pair of cheeks is something I find more intriguing and, being honest, I really get off on seeing assholes on women who look obviously well-used or loose. Where you can see the muscle has been trained many, many times and could open up for a penis with very little notice. I find this very arousing.

I've always had enjoyable vaginal sex with my wife and she has one of the nicest looking vaginas I've ever seen, but even she would much rather have me tongue her asshole than lick her clit and we're both pretty happy for that. :)

Feeling:

As mentioned above, I'm definitely not in the "because it's tighter" crowd, which I believe is largely comprised of men who probably have only had partners who tolerate anal rather than love it. I find I get more excited when her asshole gives me less resistance. I love how once I get part way into her ass, her hole just seems to pull me right in the rest of the way.

Without a doubt, the most amazing physical sensation of anal sex that drives me crazy is that, with the correct position and adequate relaxation and warming up, I am able to *fully* penetrate my wife's ass. I am long enough (7.5") and my wife small enough (5'1" tall) that I am unable to fully penetrate her vagina. If I near full depth, I bottom out on her cervix and it's both uncomfortable and distracting to me and it hurts her if I hit it too firmly. This forces us to use positions and methods that keep me at a shallower depth. She also has a hard time with my girth in her small vagina and more often than not, her vagina is a little sore after any regular vaginal sex session. On the other hand, when she is well relaxed for anal, I can press my full member into her and feel my tip pass through the narrowing at the end of the rectum and this causes my penis to explode very quickly.

During a balls deep anal orgasm, I am very physically aware of three distinct sensations on my penis and the orgasm intensity is unachievable with vaginal sex, though I fully accept that it could be as much psychological as physical.

Psychology:

This is an interesting part of the subject and the one that I've pondered my whole life and continue to. The 'taboo' aspect is certainly the most talked about appeal, but like another poster suggested, I'm not convinced that's what drives my kink. I've had lots of anal with my wife now and every day I just want to do it more and more. There's nothing taboo about it for us. We're not christian or religious in any way, we are not prudes or from prudish upbringings. We're very sexually open and experimental. So, at least in my mind, the psychological appeal isn't "What we are doing is so bad!", but more "What we are doing is so sexy and exciting and not many people are comfortable enough with themselves and each other to do this!"

I find anal sex to be far more intimate to me. Since I am a man, I expect that I have a very different mental/emotional outlook on sex than a typical woman, and so I can only guess here, but I think that an erotic anal encounter with my wife has an emotional effect on me much more like a woman normally regards any sexual intercourse (where "normal" sex is more a physical event to me than otherwise). When we have hot anal sex, my excitement levels during are obviously greatly elevated, but afterwards I could just cuddle for hours. I want to just keep massaging my wife and fetching her treats and spoiling her in every way.

It's not just that I'm trying to "earn points" to get more anal, but I truly feel more of an emotional attachment when we do this and I think it's because I am very conscious of the increased intimate bond that it has created between us when we have sex. Women can give out vaginal sex and blow jobs like favours, typically. Even if they're not all that into it. It's not that unheard of for some relationships to basically be kept going by a disinterested spouse giving her husband just enough satisfaction as is required to keep him happy enough to not complain. On the other hand, enjoyable anal sex (where both partners get equal pleasure) requires a full commitment from both partners to the act. The woman must feel 100% confident and have full trust in the penetrating partner - as there's much higher risk of injury, etc, if a guy was too rough. The male must be very in tune with his partner's reactions and body language and know the right moves to make at the right times.

It takes a lot of practice and trust to be able to have pleasurable, purely anal sexual encounters that are equally rewarding for male and female alike, but if it can be achieved, for many couples it can be a much more rewarding form of sexual intimacy.

Since last time

I'm all too well aware I haven't been very active in updating this blog. In part it is the usual personal life/workload that gets in the way.

Partly, because you need to be inspired to get the urge to write. And mostly life has been moving along uneventful, and without anything much to report that is relevant here. I do have one or two ideas, but they will require a bit more thought and time as well as being dependent on news from another person. More on that another time.

The other reason is, to be completely honest, is that I was getting a little disheartened by some emails and comments. The really weird one's I haven't published, but you can see for yourselves some of the things on the Q&A. Yes, I realize I left it open to all kinds of question, but I was hoping for a mostly mature and intelligent response. I'm not saying it was all bad, but some of the later comments started to see the quality and seriousness degenerate...

Back soon

Just to let those who follow me know, I haven't forgotten the blog, I mean to get back to writing soon! Right now it is just a case of not enough hours in the day.

A new anal sex forum

I've been informed there is a new forum dedicated to the 'Anal Only Lifestyle', that is, for people who choose for varying reasons to have exclusively anal sex with their partner.

http://www.analonlylifestyle.com

The no movement method

On a whim recently my husband wanted to see if I could get him to orgasm simply by flexing and squeezing internally while he is in my ass. He was determined it must be possible because he had read about it somewhere (OK, really, you read it somewhere on the internet?!). Now we've tried a few times and while we've had fun experimenting and I've no doubt done wonders for my muscle tone in that area, we have not achieved success.

Not that it doesn't feel nice to both of us, but it just isn't sufficient stimulation to get him there.

Anyone else had any luck? It doesn't seem possible.

Together again

I know it's been some time since I managed to post a real update. Both my husband and myself have been busy with our respective jobs. Whilst mine is irregular and variable in its demands, his is normally quite steady and predictable. But once in a while we both find ourselves in demand at the same time, like the last few weeks.

We'd been like ships passing in the night, but thankfully it is over for the time being. We didn't even get to have sex around two weeks, which is virtually unheard of. Well, every cloud has a silver lining, as they say...

The result was when we did go to bed together we were both charged up with sexual energy. If you've had a long break before you'll know what I'm talking about. That tension becomes pent up and when you finally have a chance to release it it can alter the whole experience. Senses seem enhanced, each others body seems like new territory again. Smells, touch, sight; everything more vivid. The result of is you have one of those sexual encounters you remember forever (well until the next memorable one).

You may think it was over in a rush, but you'd be wrong. For some reason, though excited were both took our time. I think it was post work exhaustion and relief that we actually had some time of our own, and for once together again that made us want to savor it.

Much of it was actually oral: me on him, him licking delicately at my anus before probing deeper. It is one of his favorite activities and he would have gone on much longer than he did, but I was starting to squirm and really needed him inside. So, it was onto my side and legs up while he lubed me up. He penetrated slowly but felt very thick, though everything is exactly the same.

It is often the mind, playing with our perception which makes all the difference -  Deciding if something hurts or not; whether it is intimate or not; and often the trigger for climax. Not in the right mood? Then good sex can be a problem. Though there are a few circumstances where it has occasionally turned things around, such as a post argument 'make up fuck'.

But I digress. After penetration it was just slow and steady. Boring I guess unless you happen to be one of the participants. At the end there wasn't even that much movement as he was all the way in and just kind of 'rocking' against my ass. This was another time I got frustratingly close to orgasm but not quite, so just a minute of finger work and I was there. He afterwards said he wanted to go on but my repeated clenching up put an end to that! He's not interested if we get to orgasm together but I really enjoy it when it happens.

So there you have it. I apologize again for not keeping up with stuff here but as I'm sure you all appreciate it isn't always for lack of interest or will. Partly my mistake for promising regular updates. Perhaps just a little unrealistic but the best of intentions.

Until next time.

J.

Q & A

I occasionally get asked questions via the contact form, and that's fine. But my thinking is if you don't mind sharing with others then you can ask here for any general questions or thoughts or any other things that perhaps don't fit under the blog topics. I'll always do my best to respond and answer as soon as I can.

Busy again

I know I promised more updates but once more there are other distractions. I hope to resume again soon. Please continue to leave your comments as I do read them all and try to respond to each when I can.

Female perspective on the male perspective...

Like I said on another post, I have more to say about my husband.Now, I know that this blog is meant to be primarily a resource for women and their views but the women is just one half of the couple. Also, as shown by the many hundreds or thousands of other blogs, journals, forums etcetera, so many women still don't understand their men when it comes to anal sex: Why do they like it? What makes it so enjoyable? Why are they always asking their wives and girlfriends for anal sex with such regularity?

What follows is what I've been about to glean over the years from my husband and more recently when I decided to write this piece. Remember, this is just my husband, so it may not be true, or all true, for others. At the very least it'll be more informative than the usual "because it's tighter".

From what I understand, the influences can be broken down into three parts: how it looks, how it feels, and how it makes him think.

Lets start off with the looks. Like most women I just assumed for a long time that the only reason he'd want to put it in my ass was because it was tighter and more stimulating. Sure, I knew men liked a shapely behind but I'd underestimated the visual aspects. It didn't find out until quite recently that he actually isn't sexually attracted to the female genitalia to any great degree. At first I was like, you what? I guess the initial reaction was one of shock but as he explained further it became clear I'd misunderstood.

He does like the femininity of a woman; her breasts, face, hips, waist, ass, hair, softness, smell. All of that. What he doesn't like is the vulva. Not the lips, shape or anything about it. He claims not to find that attractive. He says that it took him years to gain his confidence, sexually, as this was a cause of concern to him. Was he gay? Was he just weird?

So what really turns him on and attracts him is a woman's anus. Now I understand him, I can actually take that as a compliment, since he says I have a very pretty one. *BLUSH*

Well they do say men are visual first and foremost, sexually.

So while I can accept all this from him, I'm still left a little confused. Does it answer my questions? I'd always assumed all men were attracted to those parts of a woman that made them distinctly female. Can there be heterosexual lust without that attraction? Well, apparently so. He gets an erection merely by contemplating a female anus, but not the genitalia. All this just invites even more questions; did something or an event make him this way? Are some born this way? Part of a spectrum like sexuality? I'm not being judgemental by the way. I've had a long time to get used to this and nor does it worry me. It doesn't diminish his desire for me, nor mine for him.

Moving on to how it feels. Now, I've felt inside both my vagina and my anus. To me, yes both are different but neither one would I have thought significantly better than the others. He begs to differ since I obviously lack a penis. While he says that the vagina is basically the same all the way up the anal / rectal region is like three different zones of sensation. First, obviously is the tight ring of muscle at the entrance. Then inside is the rectum which is a little more open as it doesn't collapse on itself like the vagina. The rectum curves back towards the spine and after a few inches narrows again. But overall the three parts are apparently capable of more rhythmic, contrasting contractions and hence more stimulating than the vagina.

The last part, how it makes him think, is not so clear. He agrees that it is a more intimate experience, but struggles to define this and as I've said before I believe men and women maybe see intimacy slightly differently. I think he feels as though he in a small way, dominates me, although I don't feel dominated - I'm doing this totally voluntarily. But if it makes him feel good I see no harm.

Whether this is all true or not, some (or many) men seem wired to prefer anal sex for some or a combination of all these reasons. I can understand, if never truly share those feelings.

As usual I'd love to hear from men (or their partners) on this.

Does culture matter?

If you've been following the blog you'll notice my musings about why some people like anal, why many men love it, and why others are more open to the idea.

Now, we know that in the past in some societies the practise of anal sex was widespread. Could that also be true today?

So far most of the contributors to the blog have been (or appear to be) native English speakers which puts them in a very similar culture. In western culture anal sex is gradually becoming more of an accepted thing, but I know I have readers from around the world and would love to here about their experiences.

Is it acceptable or frowned upon where you live?

Am I different?

Since starting this blog I've often stopped to think why I have such a different attitude to anal sex to most other women. Or even, am I all that different?

Yes, I know if you suggest anal sex to many women they will be horrified, while I'll readily do it. But why? We aren't significantly different in the way we are made. That suggests the only real difference is in the mind.

I experienced anal sex for the first time very early on, so I guess that I didn't ponder much the implications of what I was about to do. And the man to take my virginity was older, more experienced and persuasive; I trusted him and never felt afraid.

Having never had the fear, I struggle to understand it. This is unusual for me as I'm usually good at putting myself in the shoes of others. I'm assuming that fear is the primary problem for most women from what I read; fear that it will hurt, fear of the consequences.

I am aware there could be other, subtle forces at play. Perhaps they are ashamed to associate the anus with pleasure, having been told all their lives that it is dirty.

Another observation from my reading of various sources it that most people stand firmly on one or the other side of the issue. That is some think there are women who will never come to like anal sex, no matter what, and those who think that with the right amount of time and gentle coaxing she can learn to enjoy it. I believe in the latter, but I'd love to hear what others think about this.

Weekend surprise

He does sometimes surprise, my man of habit. And more often than usual recently. I must find out if there's something on his mind.

This time, after a very long massage for yours truly, he wanted me to remain in position face down on the bed. Now there's one we hadn't done in a long time. Basically, it's an inverse missionary where you lie on your front with your legs spread and he lies on top.

Now, this is not a position for very deep penetration, though it does help if you put a pillow or something under your hips to raise them a little. It is also not one where you have much (if any) opportunity to play with yourself in the front. I wouldn't want to be doing this all the time, but it has advantages; it forces him to be slow and gentle and I really enjoy the feel and weight of his body along along my back. The only problem was that as he rolled off to fall asleep I was just starting to get excited but instead was having to make a visit to the bathroom :(

A Question...

I've been thinking.

What kind of people read this blog?

So, do they visit because they are curious if others have the same (or different) feelings about intimacy? Is it that they find a sex life based around one particular act interesting? Or is it people just curious about anal sex in a more general sense?

I'll still carry on doing my own thing, but I'm more than happy to hear what motivates you to read this blog.

Also, I'd love to receive any links to any similar or related sites that I have missed.

Not a porn site

It seems obvious, but perhaps not to some people. I've been getting much more traffic here of late (thanks tumblr) but I do wonder what some people expect when they visit.

Well, just in case, for new visitors - there is no porn here: No pictures, no videos, and no links to where you'll find any. There's already plenty of that to be found for free already out there.

Whilst we're on the subject I'll give you my views on porn. It's probably the first, last and only time I'll mention it.

I'm pretty liberal minded and not the least offended by pornography. And what other women (or men) choose to do with there bodies in a very public way for hard (and presumably much needed) cash is entirely up to them. I know my husband likes to look at it and is predictably furtive and guilty (though needlessly) about the whole affair. No one should feel bad or ashamed about their little pleasures, is my thinking, as that leads to self-loathing and psychological damage.

But moving on, I find the way it's usually presented and performed hilarious and absurd. Granted, I'm not the target audience, but really, is it meant to be taken that seriously? The world of pornography appears to exist within its own little bubble, almost completely disengaged from the norms of human behaviour, sexual or otherwise.

I was going to say more, but I'm already bored with the subject.

Have a nice day :-)

Back to the usual

After a brief flirtation with a new position we are back to an old favorite: spoons. I'm happy with a little variety now and again, and once in a while he gets it into his head that the latest position is the best. Sooner or later he always wants to return to one of the two familiar ones. But there is something comforting about that, and what it lacks in novelty actually more than makes up for in closeness, for me at least. He holds me tight, I'm relaxed and we make love gently. It may not always scale the heights of passion but late at night when you're both that tired it's such a nice way to end the day before the lights go out.

The poll so far...

Since the poll at the foot of my blog has now started to behave itself, it can now be viewed in a more meaningful way. I do now regret putting the poll right at the bottom as only a very small number of those who visit the blog choose to vote.

That being said, what I have seen so far I'm finding very positive. I wanted to see how both women and men feel about the intimacy of anal, but had even less idea about how men felt than women.

I know it was a huge assumption, but since I can only view the act from my perspective as a woman I thought that most woman who have anal sex would be affected in a similar way. I had thought that the intimate aspect was a female thing, because we are the ones being penetrated, sharing ourselves in a deeply personal way. I'm talking of just the mental side. I feel intensely emotional on several levels. One is that I'm trusting him. Another is that by being possessed in such a way I'm very turned on and excited. The last is that in a way I'm making this offering and the reward I get in return is seeing this incredible pleasure that he gets.

I had thought that for men it was largely the physical side of anal sex that they liked, but from the poll results so far men too are without exception finding anal sex more intimate.

Is this why we feel something beyond the intense physical connectedness when we make love this way? I've asked both my husband and others before but on the whole men are not as good at describing how they feel, or at least not in any way I can relate to. Perhaps you just have to be a man to truly get it.

Why the choice?

I was recently contacted by someone who, due to similar circumstances, was curious about my motivation - not for writing about my experience, but why I've stopped having vaginal sex.

I'm sure to most people it just seems like such a strange concept; after all, anal sex is just for men isn't it? Well, I completely disagree with that point of view. I enjoy it, I've read about dozens (possibly hundreds) of women who do. Women have even written books and guides about the subject. If that doesn't show that it can be just as important in our lives too, then I don't know what will.

Anal sex has always been a big part of my sex, right from the beginning. I don't actually dislike vaginal, but the combination of being able to orgasm easily from anal and the huge emotional aspect of anal always wins out. I could (and do now) live without vaginal sex but can't imagine a life with no more anal sex.

Having said all of that, I probably would have taken this path were it not for my husband having his own strong likes and dislikes. I suppose you could say he'd been steering in this direction for some time since he'd read about another couple who did the same. And it took a long time before he could articulate that same desire.

For anyone who thinks I'm just submitting or being controlled, you are so very wrong. I've recognised what is important in our marriage and what works. I love him and if we aren't compatible then our relationship would break down. I recognise it is not a choice for everyone, but I'm very happy about it. Neither of us are lying to each other and both are satisfied sexually.

More regular updates

Like with anything else, keeping to a routine is good for getting work done. I don't know how long this phase will last but I've found that checking the blog and re-reading everyday is making me more productive. You know, I should have made more effort during those long winter months rather now that summer is here. But better late than never...

I've changed a few small details, such as adding a contact list so people can contact me more privately and directly. But I do hope to keep general discussion going so we can all share.

I'll try to keep updating more regularly and if you have any ideas of your own for inclusion let me know.

Something a little different

Last night I took the advice of one of my readers, suggesting to DH we change from the usual position. Now he's a real man of habit so this switch wasn't exactly done with much enthusiasm. For the most part he likes to be behind me because he likes to be in control..and for the view, of course. Now mostly I don't mind as part of the fun is the submission, after all, but I'd got an idea and for once was determined to carry it out.

I can't remember the last time I went on top, but now I've had a reminder I'll be trying to persuade him more often. When we had done so in the past I was straddling him but lying over so we were face to face. This time, as per recommendations, it was more of a squat above him with my feet flat on the bed. Okay, so you can't get so much movement like this and it can get a little tiring on the legs, but for deep penetration it's very good. With the help of gravity and with your legs pulled up...wow. It was actually a strange sensation, almost a tickle as he slid way up inside. I had a tingling right up my spine the entire time. Another advantage, as we discovered is that in this position you can really work your internal muscles, by alternately pushing and pulling (like you're trying to hold something in).

Verdict: Can be hard work, and don't expect a lot of movement. We found we had to grind against each other more than thrust. However, I felt totally full and he loved being able to get inside as far as he was able.

Feedback welcome

I love to hear how other women (and men!) feel about the subjects I raise in my blog. Please feel free to post any comments, questions or thoughts you have.

It would be great to know if my experiences touch others, or even if your experience is entirely different. Hopefully together we can get a better picture of how women really feel about the last taboo (and just maybe go a little way towards breaking it down).

So don't be shy!

More thoughts on intimacy

I've been giving some more thought as to why anal sex is more intimate for me. I know I'm not alone so it would be interesting if any of these strike a chord with anyone out there.

I'd touched on it in an earlier post about the surrender aspect. I'd written that without thinking to deeply. At heart, I've now realized, I'm really quite submissive. I don't mean weak, or down-trodden in any sense. I just get quite charged and emotional by giving my self up to someone I love and trust. It's a strange thing when you think about it; both safe and vulnerable at the same time.

Another powerful aspect that only anal sex provides for me is the physical impact, which is more raw and immediate. Something that cannot be ignored, almost something endured. Even as I'm being penetrated I'm asking myself do I really like this, but at the same time always coming back for more and loving that feeling as he gets all the way in. Afterwards, when he's withdrawn, I really notice his absence in a way I never do after vaginal sex. Yet at the same time feel him for hours.

It's these things that make me feel so connected to him. That and we've shared something so special. Perhaps I suffer from a surfeit of empathy because knowing that he's having so much pleasure makes me soar so high.

Poll

I've had enough of the blogger poll widget. The results go up, then down, at random. But mostly down. Totally unreliable. If anyone knows of a good dedicated poll system to use please let me know.

Undesired consequences

Wow. I just checked and it's been month since I posted last. I truthfully meant to keep a more regular record than I have so far. What can I say? Stuff happens...

Work has been more than a little demanding but also other things have started to intrude and take up my spare time, which I can't really go into here.

But for the moment, maybe a little breather and a chance to catch up.

The main thing to report is that we've stuck to our decision and continue to have only anal sex. Neither of us has any regrets and I don't feel (so far) to be missing out or any less satisfied. He's delighted (well, no surprise) but I'll talk a bit more about him in another blog post.

I'd just like to say to any other women who are curious and current enjoy some element of anal play but are hesitant to enjoy more often due to what you may have read elsewhere, that there is nothing to fear. Fear really is the only enemy of anal pleasure. But again, this is a whole subject for another time.

What I wanted to write about this time is something that maybe you can't ignore once you begin having regular anal sex. Now, we make love 3 to 4 times a week and we both like it when he finishes inside. This is a personal choice and for us one that completes the act but it does have its obvious complications. What goes in must come out. Now, when you used to have occasional anal this wasn't such a great problem. Experienced practitioners will know all about it. I'll be blunt: gas, sudden urges to use the bathroom, loose stools or diarrhea. These can all be potential causes of embarrassment or difficulty the next day.

I'll share with you these tips that will help you avoid most of these undesired consequences.

Firstly, if you are using a water-based lube, then stop. Apart from generally adding to the water content of your rectum they include chemicals that seem to stimulate the digestive system and draw even more water out. We've settled on vaseline; though it seems quite thick it melts quickly at body temperature and becomes very slippery and long lasting. Best of all you don't need much.

Next, before and after sex try to avoid foods which stimulate your system to much. The worst offenders are coffee, spicy food and alcohol.

Don't be getting up and being too active straight after sex. Again, this stimulates the bodies natural system.

It's not very romantic, but rather than falling asleep in each others arms after you've made love, head for the bathroom. Sit there for a little while and relax. Gravity will do the rest. You may need to push a little to eject his cum but remember its not healthy to strain your pelvic floor too hard.

Too much of a good thing.

Ouch.

Ok, so I'm an outspoken advocate for anal sex. I think its fun, intimate, sensuous and (for me at least) a  pleasurable and appealing alternative to regular lovemaking. I think it perfectly safe when practised sensibly, and when experienced and with a good understanding partner can be done as often as you like.

Well, everything has its limits.

So, I don't know if its hormonal or what but I was feeling seriously horny all week. Of course DH is never one to turn me down so it turned out that he was lucky enough to get between my cheeks every night last week.

And that's not all.

Sometime last night he woke me wanting a second round. I shouldn't have but I was feeling very sleepy and knew the hard prodding on my asshole wasn't going to go away till he was happy. I was vaguely aware of being lubed up then he slipped inside. It actually felt pretty good at the time (even though this was mostly for his benefit) with him up close behind me as I lay on my side. What is a well known fact is that once guys have cum once (as he'd done earlier) they can usually last considerably longer. Oops.

He must have been working away slowly for more than half an hour before I felt him pulse. He withdrew slowly but for the first time in a while I was definitely feeling delicate back there.

Tonight I promise myself a night off.

Really.

Happy New Year.

Well the holidays are behind us now and we can all resume our normal lives. I do love that time of year but all the same I'm relieved when I can pick up my routine. I need that kind of normality to work, think and be creative.

Time for some fun too. Unfortunately, what with parties, visiting friends and family, others staying with my DH and I didn't get as much quality time together during December. When we did, it was always of a more predictable nature. I wouldn't call it quite "stuck in a rut" but do you ever find yourself doing the exact same things over again and in the same order, almost like auto-pilot, when making love? Sometimes I'm content with this and just want more of the same. Take the last month for example: Every time he starts out by licking me, almost bringing me to the brink then working down and I lift my legs so he can get at my anus. He just loves working his tongue in and around there and it does feel amazing. After about fifteen minutes of that (and you can almost set your clock by it!) he stops, I pull my legs up and he's on me and sliding up my ass. I usually like it when he's behind but for some reason I can't get enough of doing it this way with me on my back, in a slightly modified missionary style.