Wednesday, August 28, 2013
Q & A
I occasionally get asked questions via the contact form, and that's fine. But my thinking is if you don't mind sharing with others then you can ask here for any general questions or thoughts or any other things that perhaps don't fit under the blog topics. I'll always do my best to respond and answer as soon as I can.
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Not much to be honest. Make sure I'm empty. I don't bother with enema's or anything like that. I always like to keep clean, so I'd usually wash before. That encourages (not that he needs much) my husband to spend some time before hand licking in and around my anus. That's a wonderful feeling and really relaxes the muscles for penetration. Then just apply the lube and off we go. But...even though I'm very used to anal by now he still needs to go slowly for the first few minutes. After that some of the muscles you don't have direct control of will ease up a bit.
ReplyDeleteCan you cum from just anal alone? I hear some women are able to but i'm not sure how common that is.
ReplyDeleteI would be so lucky. I often feel very close but it has never happened yet. You never know though, so I hold out hope that one day it may happen. Until then though, a little finger work gets the job done and it doesn't take much when I'm ready.
DeleteEver thought of holding back coming during anal to be completely anal only, no clit or other stimulation, so the tension builds up until you finally do? :)
DeleteBelieve me, I have really tried! I think I'd just get a sore ass in the end. Very jealous of those women who can achieve it.
DeleteHaving said that, when I am that close I can stay at that 'plateau' for some time, which is really nice. Kind of zone out.
CAn you go without lube, say with lots of his spit (if he does a good job licking)?
ReplyDeleteWell I would count saliva as lube though just licking isn't sufficient to make sex comfortable. For times when we don't have a 'proper' lube then it can work but he (or I) need to apply enough. In some ways it makes a great lube as it is nice and slippery and natural and kind of the right consistency but it suffers from the same disadvantage that all those water based lubes suffer, which is they dry out and don't usually last long enough before you have to stop and apply more.
DeleteDo you use plugs at all - for training or otherwise? If so what's the longest you've had one in, and also the largest (as in the width that it keeps you open). Just wondering for my own purposes regarding getting more used to it/available for my (large) man.
ReplyDeleteSorry to disappoint, but no. My husband has often wanted me to try one though.
ReplyDeleteHow large is your man? I've never had what you'd call a 'large' penis in me. Or at least not especially thick. Is it a problem?
Are you interested in trying them? :)
DeleteHe's fairly large, about 8" around, and im relatively small ! I desperately want to be able to take him for more frequent and more casual sex, but its quite a job and he doesnt quite get in all the way as it is. Id love to feel at least 7-8" of his length of that girth all the way inside me back there! god it makes me shiver just thinking about it.
I may try for him. It would have to be something with a natural feel and some flexibility. Not sure I want anything hard or rigid up my ass.
DeleteBut the 8" around...are you playing with me? I got the tape measure out and 8" around is just beyond enormous.
8" around (not across, obviously lol). you compared to your wrist or something?
DeleteRemember your highschool math! so its just over 2 1/2" across. I've seen larger in person (but not had the chance to engage them my preferred way lol). I think beer bottles are slightly larger (and he's a lot softer than glass of course!) so not nearly as much of a challenge as that (and I've seen some pictures of girls lol...)
Now just sit (uncomfortably? lol) with me for a second and imagine the amount of surrender required to possibly get him all inside.. and then the orgasm, ahhh :)
I understood you meant around (circumference). That is still incredibly (inhumanly?) large.
DeleteIf you read here: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/14/average-penis-size-american-men_n_3591649.html
It says "The average penile girth was about 4.8 inches (12.2 cm)."
That is not far off a soda can in size.
Could you guys speak in centimeter, like everybody else in the world ? -_-
Deleteshe is saying about 22 cm circumference
Delete4.8 / 3.14159 (highschool math time again!) = 1.5 inches (x 2.54 for cm) = 3.8 cm wide. Not very wide? I suppose that's the average. Well, 2 1/2 is just 1 inch wider, so I dont think its a huge increase really... (not even twice). It's big (and fun!) but not impossible :) there's lots of porn with guys larger than that (tho I dont see too much anal with it heh, maybe for a reason!)
DeleteSoda cans are far far wider than 1.5 inches wide though (oh, quick google shows they're 2.5 inches! ha! practice? they're alot harder (and colder!) that a boy though! :)
Most of the data on penis sizes I have found is averages, but take a look at this:
Deletehttp://www.oddee.com/item_97082.aspx
"The official rank of the largest penis belongs to a man measured and documented by Dr. Robert Dickinson in the earlier part of the twentieth century. This record-holding penis was 13.5 inches (34 cm) in length and 6.25 inches (16 cm) in circumference."
That's still significantly off 8 inches.
Jenny,
Deleteit would be a very big turn on for your husband if you guys were out, say in a romantic diner, and you told him that you do have a plug inside you.
Just advising...
That's longest, not thickest.
Deletebet this guy is pretty close (he's in a lot of porn :) and he's not even as large as larger one's ive seen
http://31.media.tumblr.com/58624cb6181449f2f1ddb5231b775499/tumblr_mizm5hZ3bS1rxn0tjo1_500.gif
The gif tells us nothing. There is no scale. How big is the guy? Is the woman really tiny?
DeleteIn any case, you can see that his penis is smaller than his wrist. And nobody has wrists the size of coke cans.
If such monster size members exist then they are as rare as hens teeth. And not, as you say, just "fairly large".
If I sound exasperated it's because I probably am. I don't see much purpose in debating this one further. And I won't be.
;)
How long is lasting an intercourse? ;)
ReplyDeleteLike anyone else it changes according to circumstance.
DeleteI would guess the actual intercourse is on average 15 to 20 mins. On the rare occasion perhaps longer.
It has never occurred to me to time it. Do other people really check out their times?
What I think you are wanting to know is do I get sore? Am I right? :)
Well, I would like to know that also ;)
DeleteFor the duration that we do, no I don't normally feel uncomfortable after.
DeleteDo some guys really get turned on by the idea that they may make their lady sore? I kind of suggested it half joking but maybe it is true?
I know this is a bit old now, but I wanted to note that my interest in the question is rather the opposite. To me, the more nonchalant a woman is about anal, the more aroused I am. Like occasionally you will see a clip from a scene where the guy makes that first long penetration stroke into a girl's ass and most of the time the girls gasp or instantly launch into fake orgasm noises. But when the girl barely bats an eyelash and maybe just gives a wry smirk to her partner, that's extremely hot.
DeleteAnd when I get really deep into my wife from behind and we enjoy a nice close, intimate anal experience, it gives me much more pleasure afterwards if I know that her hole feels fresh and comfortable still and not sore at all.
Have you guys tried to stay long periods of time with him inside you? Eventually trying to sleep like that?
ReplyDeleteOh yes. I'd love for him to do more of that but...once he (and really, most men are the same) has had his orgasm then he seems to loose interest in doing so. He just wants to get up and wash. Once in a while he will do so for my benefit. Sleeping like that is nearly impossible (I have tried) as you both unconsciously move around so much in your sleep. I've never woken up with him still inside, which would be fantastic.
DeleteOh gosh! This is exactly one of my boys and my fantasies! For him to be inside me all night (or as long as possible). how do you stay stuck together (spooning obviously :) I was thinking of wrapping a long towel around both of us kind of thing... heh. That is if I could get him entirely inside me... think we'd be too excited to sleep though!!
DeleteYes spoons. You have to be pressed together really tight. But with shrinkage and the anus's tendency to expel things it's really difficult to achieve. And thinking about it, probably more likely for him to get an infection if he lingers in there a long time.
DeleteStill, it is beautiful concept and just worth trying anyway :)
This is a personal goal for me... to be inside my partner anally for an entire night, awake and asleep. I've experienced this with vaginal penetration many times... not sure if that's unusual. It's a very light sleep (for me, at least) when this happens, and obviously it's much easier to pop back in to the pussy.
DeleteI've had very slow anal fuck sessions that go for well over an hour, where we become totally still for long spells and it's kind of trance-like. Entering slowly is such a big part of anal that I think in the right situation it could stay like that and induce a beautiful sleep.
fwiw, re infections: i believe that analingus exposes him to far higher possibility of infection, and time is not much of a factor. Oral contact brings whatever is in/up your ass into his digestive system where any parasites might find their way to a new home. given that you are married, it's likely anything you could give him or get from him has already been exchanged. I am not at all an expert but I think you have little to worry about, infection-wise, by letting him stay inside you.
?
With my first girlfriend, we had a projet to sleep together into some very large pyjama trousers, in order for me to sleep inside of her. Still, we never manage to do so.
DeleteI really don't know about infections. Iao is obviously speaking about things he has read here and there on internet. My own experience of anal sex is that both infection, mushrooms and... worms (!) may be "gathered" when anal sex is done. I'm not sure that sleeping increase the risk: nobody farts or wants to have a sh*t (sorry...) while sleeping. It's not like the pee: I guess the intestines are not fully working while sleeping.
There is all kinds of normally benign bacteria which inhabit the entire digestive tract which can cause a nasty UTI if the should enter the urethra. They are present in large numbers even if no waste is there - lining the rectal wall, in mucus etc. The risk is small, but I would have thought (being no expert either) that lingering all night within the rectum would significantly increase the risk of something unwanted passing into his penis where it could possibly thrive.
DeleteSorry FL you'll have to explain about mushrooms and worms - I don't get it.
uh, not sure what prompted the brusque dismissal there. I speak from extensive personal experience, unfortunately. Had a girlfriend once who traveled to guatemala, contracted a parasitic infection and passed it to me through anal sex. i was getting the amoeba on my cock, in my urethra, on my handss; but it was through my mouth that it passed to into my system.
Deletei wanna add that it's not just analingus that caused it. getting the amoeba on my hands and passing it to my mouth did it, too. in fact, not even having anal sex might do it, just by cunnilingus bringing the mouth and fingers into proximity with the anus. but we had a lot of anal, so i guess that was the main cause.
went through a months-long process of ridding the parasite with doctors and labs, etc that neither she nor i will ever forget. learned a LOT about parasites and parasitic infections from medical practitioners of all sorts and also, yes, "here and there on the internet". lots of here, lots of there.
jenny, i might look more up H&TOTI regarding urethral transmission, but i think the risk is of UTIs is lower for men, and you may have developed a resistance to each other's bugs at this point. I think the repeated exposure from your lovemaking exceeds what he would get in one night. Not 100% certain but fairly confident of that.
Who was making a brusque dismissal?
DeleteFrom what I understand the incidence of UTI's are lower in men simply because they have a longer urethra. Oral-anal contact between people that already have lived in close proximity probably isn't much of an issue.
When I raised the possibility of infection I was thinking of microbial infections not anything exotic like parasites or amoebas, which I should think are mercifully rare.
sorry i should be clear i was referring to "Iao is obviously speaking about things he has read here and there on internet" from the other guy... an extremely presumptuous comment.
Deleteparasites can include far less severe stuff like candida, which is very common, and the numbers on blastocystosis and others like what i caught are comparable or far higher than worldwide hiv infection rates.
I guess i should also have been clear that i was not saying your husband actually risks contracting anything from you... just that oral contact is much more of a transmission vector for infections.
really, after my own experience it is difficult to see it as an exotic or rare thing, because i encountered several other people dealing with parasites for various reasons and it has colored my perception.
Do you wear thong underwear or thong bikini? I'm wondering if there is some relationship between thongs and anal sex. Thanks a lot!
ReplyDeleteNo & no.
Deletewell, technically... thongs became very popular at about exactly the same time anal porn became mainstream and the eroticizing of the female ass in general became popular, which i'd put around 2000-2002. I do miss those low jeans and girls flaunting the tops of their thongs waaay above the waistline. it could be kinda tacky or awkward sometimes... but i got a charge from it. nice to see girls making overt fashion statements about anal sexuality.
Deleteseems like anal sex has continued to become even more popular since then, in an individualized way.
Ok, but do you make enema daily or you just know when you are going to have sex so you get prepared prior to the event?
ReplyDeleteNo. Enemas are really unhealthy - more so if it is done daily. I don't think anyone recommends that.
ReplyDeleteHonestly, the rectum is mostly clean. I know if I need the bathroom before sex. Once in a while there is a little residue but it doesn't bother us.
Also, another reason I dislike and don't recommend water based lubes is they do tend to make anal sex more messy if you have anything inside you.
When you think of sex do you just think of your bum now? Do you just get turned on back there when you get excited?
ReplyDeleteGood question!
DeleteI think our illustrious host is remiss in not replying to this! :)
DeleteI get turned on in the gray stuff between my ears ;)
Delete"I get turned on in the gray stuff between my ears ;)"
DeleteThat's a great response and actually lends credence to your being a woman behind the keyboard because what man would have thought of such a witty reply? :)
Thanks the2beans. Now you'll have me over analyzing my every word because of how it will be perceived.
DeleteGrrrr :(
I think you should be near to completing one year without vaginal intercourse, which means, anal only. Is this period, did you feel sexier with your bum? I mean, do you started wearing clothes that enhances your bum during this period? Do you feel like adding more value to your bum now than before?
ReplyDeleteThanks a lot!
What are you 12 years old or something?!
DeleteSorry Jenny, I didn't want do disrespect you or so.
DeleteAfter my previous girlfriend and I started to have anal sex she started to value her bum, according to her. She also started wearing thongs and wearing tighter clothes. I was just wondering whether that happened only with her or with other women out there.
Sorry for the bad question.
I get how his message seems odd, Jenny, but I think maybe and underlying idea that he's awkwardly misrepresenting is whether the growth of your anal sex life and your backdoor prowess had any impact on your self image (not necessarily physical image).
DeleteI only comment on this because my wife and I have experimented with anal for several years now. I've been a complete fiend for lady ass my whole life but it's been an acquired taste for her. About two months ago she finally started to really enjoy receiving analingus from me and this immediately flipped a trigger that allowed her to open herself up to and begin to take great pleasure from anal sex.
Now, we've been having almost entirely anal sex for the past two months and I can tell it has had an effect on her attitude (and she's confessed as much to me a few times). Knowing that she has well and truly reached and exceeded my wildest pornographic fantasies by giving me a sex life I have dreamed about forever, she feels like a real queen around our house these days. Of course, I spend MUCH more time doting on her and showing her affection when we're not doing sexual things and she's surely enjoying that aspect of it.
But even beyond that, she told me a week ago that she has developed a heightened confidence in her day to day life. A slight smugness, even, as she goes around work each day with a satisfaction in the back of her mind knowing that when she goes home from the office, she has a sex life that no one around her could likely fathom.
So I've had time to think this one over. I accept the question was well meant but just badly put.
DeleteI see the developments in the last year or so as part of a gradual evolution. It is not as though I had 'road to damascus' moment. After all, anal sex has been an integral part of my life for a long time now, even before I was married.
I suppose you could say because this has made my husband so obviously happy, and I find it more intimate anyway that I've reached a high point as far as happiness in any relationship (including my marriage). Content is what you would call it.
Both depending on my mood.
ReplyDeleteHas your husband asked you to wear a butt plug?
ReplyDeleteAre you guys still stick with anal only? If yes, are you missing the regular one or you are fine like that?
ReplyDeleteThanks
Yes we still stick with anal only. We both enjoy it very much and he definitely has said that he has no interest in having vaginal sex again at any point in the future. Part of the reason I suppose that I've neglected the to update my blog is due to the fact that there isn't much more to say and that this has become "normal" to us. Normal in the sense that it isn't discussed, whereas in the beginning I suppose it was more of a big thing in our lives. Looking around I'm still surprised that this is perceived as an unusual thing for a women to embrace so enthusiastically. All the negative comments I've read, and also received personally, still astound me.
Delete