I imagine many will look at the blog title and read my first post and raise an eyebrow. Intimate? How can that be?
Well, I think largely that perceptions of anal sex have been unfairly colored by culture (which I'll go into in another post) which give rise to negative emotions about the subject. If you can get past or reject that reaction, then a whole new world opens up. I also don't buy into the definition of my femininity and sexuality being tied to my vagina; I feel we're way passed that 60's and 70's concept now, of those (once) radical sexual equality and sexual freedom pioneers, especially since people are able to share information so freely, and a whole spectrum of different sexualities and lifestyles are now being revealed. What I'm getting at, is that nothing is normal any more.
I'm not saying that other forms of sex aren't special or intimate, but for me nothing else makes me feel as uninhibited and as bonded and close to my partner as when I'm being taken anally. There is nothing like the anticipation, both knowing what is going to happen, the foreplay and the ritual of assuming the position, applying the lube, the relief when the head enters.
Now, although there usually isn't any eye contact and I can't see his face because he's most often behind me I still get incredibly excited by the sounds and the feeling. Maybe I'm not such a visual person. I can close my eyes and listen to his heavy breathing as he thrusts and those very deep moans which signal his enjoyment. I like his hands when they hold my waist or hips firmly, and that amazing fullness as he stretches and fills me. When he cums, the throbbing back there is wild.
More than anything though, it is the surrender I think. And the pleasure men seem to get from being allowed to do that with a woman is palpable.
I can't be alone, can I?
No you are not alone. I know you are looking for an answer from a woman, but I can tell you as a man that the intimacy you describe is every bit as real for men as well.
ReplyDeleteIts a welcome relief (and hot) that you are giving exposure to this side of sex. I've been looking for some intelligent commentary from someone who shares my view for so long.
What makes it such a unique experience is that the man and women are so deeply connected both physically AND mentally at the same time. Unlike other sex you know she's doing this because she really wants you and wants to connect in the same way and you get this incredible feedback so it keeps on building. And KNOWING she's feeling you more intensely than any thing else she'll experience just blows your mind...
Because of this, I think anal sex triggers something in all our minds, like a switch. That level of emotion is like a drug that once you've experienced you just need more of to experience the same high.
Sorry only just got around to responding to this.
DeleteI think the intensity of anal sex could be one of the things that can get in the way at the beginning. It can be overwhelming. I find that exciting but I guess for some it could all be a bit too much.
My husband says much the same as you. One of the reasons we stopped having vaginal sex was that it was very obvious he wasn't getting the same pleasure he had become used to.