Too much of a good thing.

Ouch.

Ok, so I'm an outspoken advocate for anal sex. I think its fun, intimate, sensuous and (for me at least) a  pleasurable and appealing alternative to regular lovemaking. I think it perfectly safe when practised sensibly, and when experienced and with a good understanding partner can be done as often as you like.

Well, everything has its limits.

So, I don't know if its hormonal or what but I was feeling seriously horny all week. Of course DH is never one to turn me down so it turned out that he was lucky enough to get between my cheeks every night last week.

And that's not all.

Sometime last night he woke me wanting a second round. I shouldn't have but I was feeling very sleepy and knew the hard prodding on my asshole wasn't going to go away till he was happy. I was vaguely aware of being lubed up then he slipped inside. It actually felt pretty good at the time (even though this was mostly for his benefit) with him up close behind me as I lay on my side. What is a well known fact is that once guys have cum once (as he'd done earlier) they can usually last considerably longer. Oops.

He must have been working away slowly for more than half an hour before I felt him pulse. He withdrew slowly but for the first time in a while I was definitely feeling delicate back there.

Tonight I promise myself a night off.

Really.

Happy New Year.

Well the holidays are behind us now and we can all resume our normal lives. I do love that time of year but all the same I'm relieved when I can pick up my routine. I need that kind of normality to work, think and be creative.

Time for some fun too. Unfortunately, what with parties, visiting friends and family, others staying with my DH and I didn't get as much quality time together during December. When we did, it was always of a more predictable nature. I wouldn't call it quite "stuck in a rut" but do you ever find yourself doing the exact same things over again and in the same order, almost like auto-pilot, when making love? Sometimes I'm content with this and just want more of the same. Take the last month for example: Every time he starts out by licking me, almost bringing me to the brink then working down and I lift my legs so he can get at my anus. He just loves working his tongue in and around there and it does feel amazing. After about fifteen minutes of that (and you can almost set your clock by it!) he stops, I pull my legs up and he's on me and sliding up my ass. I usually like it when he's behind but for some reason I can't get enough of doing it this way with me on my back, in a slightly modified missionary style.

Busy Busy Busy

A hectic work schedule and other commitments have sadly meant I haven't had as much times as I'd wished to spend on this blog.

But fear not!

I hope to post in greater length soon, but until then this is how things stand:

We've now had a few weeks without any vaginal sex. So far a great success; I'm not missing it, he's not missing it (no surprise there). In a way it has been strangely liberating. Now that there isn't any misunderstanding or differing expectations, both in tune as it were, our sex life has already improved markedly.

I don't know how long this "honeymoon" will last but my husband is definitely being more romantic, attentive and loving than before. Now he knows what's on the menu he's more relaxed and spending the time on me to make sure I'm satisfied.

Till next time...

Accepting reality

In my first post I spoke about how vaginal sex had become less frequent between my husband and myself and how we'd been thinking about ceasing that aspect of our sex life entirely. Actually, it was he who'd been thinking about it, but when it was put to me and I thought about it, and also finding out there were other couples who had been doing just that, well it just started to seem like a natural progression.

No, I'm not some kind of freak (or at least I hope not). I'm just a normal girl who is really into anal sex, but as always there's more to the story.

First to start with my husband. He really likes women's asses. I knew that early on and he'd make a point of saying what a nice one he though I had or pointing out others he admired (grrrr) but prior to me he had no experience of anal sex. Of course he'd tried with girlfriends but had been knocked back and so it had remained just a fantasy for him. Early only I suggested we give it a go and of course he leapt at the chance! Okay, so maybe he was a little more enthusiastic, shall we say, than I'd normally like but it was such a turn on all the same that we made anal love twice that night. And so it started as the occasional alternative, though it later emerged that he didn't ask for it more often as he assumed I couldn't possibly like it more often, which made him feel uncomfortable. So, yeah, the age old problem of man and women not understanding each other.

Over time though, it became totally clear to me where his preference lay. He'd hint, and I'd let him and so we started to gravitate over to more and more anal. The difference in how he behaved, how much it excited him and the obvious difference in the pleasure he got out of it meant that I didn't mind. In truth  it made me happier because his heart just wasn't in it during regular intercourse.

So we've arrived at the point where has admitted he'd now rather not have any vaginal intercourse at all. No, I'm not being used, and no, I'm not a push over. I can deal with this because:

• He loves it and I know it makes him happy
• When he's happy, I'm happy
• I find anal sex more intimate
• From a purely physical point of view anal is at least the equal of vaginal for me

There are actually some other peripheral issues which I may cover some time in the future, but those are the main points. And the last point will, I think, require a more detailed explanation sometime

Anal aesthetics

When I'm talking about intimacy I talking about a feeling; a state of mind. Many things can bring about that special closeness. When you feel relaxed and confident in yourself and your body it's easier to attain that greater sexual bond.

Which brings me around to how a woman's most intimate parts look. We don't always see it. But I've spent many an hour examining 'down below' with a mirror (weird I know) and can appreciate what a man might see. Lets face it, the vulva is not the most attractive thing in nature. We can shave it, or even these days resort to labiaplasty, but in the end it is still really strange looking; "thrown together by a blind man out of the spare parts" as one of my friends put it. We can try and be kind about it but the reality is that it doesn't look that great.

Now, head down an inch lower. By contrast the anus is really neat looking. A simple puckered dimple. Not complicated like its nearby cousin. Beautiful, you could say.

No wonder the men I've known have had such an enduring, curious and intense interest in my ass-hole. When they spend hours playing, stroking and licking me there I can understand them full well.

Men and anal sex

What is it with men and anal sex?

Now, I realize I'm probably a little unusual for a woman in my preferences but it appears the same cannot be said for men. Every man I've ever slept with has liked it, and I believe nearly all thought it was better than vaginal. What is going on? It can't just be me attracting all the ass lovers.

When I've discreetly enquired of a few select girlfriends they've all rolled their eyes and confessed this had been something they've encountered time and again. For so many it can become a problem. While I can see that point of view, for me the whole male anal obsession is all rather sweet, funny and endearing.

When I introduced my husband to anal sex for the first time he literally shook with excitement. Afterwards as we cuddled together it was all worth it for all the love and copious compliments that flowed from his lips. Never before had he been so full on with his affection. If only it was like this all the time!

Now I understand all the reasons given, about the anus being tighter and the forbidden aspects, but what more is there? What are they thinking and feeling? Is it different from when they have other forms of sex? Or are all men different and there are other reason I hadn't thought of?

Whatever it is, for me the excitement from my lover is always a big part of why I enjoy it so much.

Am I wrong about all men being crazy for anal or have I just had a unique experience thus far?

Anal sex and taboo. Where did it all go wrong?

It is interesting to note that anal sex was not always the forbidden act that it is today. Depictions of anal intercourse in art and literature is common from around the world, from the ancient world and to the far east. The Romans and Greeks were western civilizations which commonly practised anal sex. It was not thought to be unusual at all. And most importantly was considered a valid expression of love for heterosexuals, not just homosexuals. Indeed, in times passed sex was recognised as something that could be purely for pleasure and not just procreation.

What happened?

A few thousand years ago began the rise of the great monotheistic religions. Never before had religion intruded so much into peoples sex lives. Even worse, as the religions split and diverged in competition with one another, they all sought to out-breed each other. As a consequence, of course, anal sex (which didn't result in more babies) became one of the many victims of the relentless advance of these cults.

When something becomes taboo for centuries, people become ignorant and fearful. It is this fear which today stops so many loving couples enjoying what could be one of the most intimate and  joyful of pleasures.