Back to the usual

After a brief flirtation with a new position we are back to an old favorite: spoons. I'm happy with a little variety now and again, and once in a while he gets it into his head that the latest position is the best. Sooner or later he always wants to return to one of the two familiar ones. But there is something comforting about that, and what it lacks in novelty actually more than makes up for in closeness, for me at least. He holds me tight, I'm relaxed and we make love gently. It may not always scale the heights of passion but late at night when you're both that tired it's such a nice way to end the day before the lights go out.

The poll so far...

Since the poll at the foot of my blog has now started to behave itself, it can now be viewed in a more meaningful way. I do now regret putting the poll right at the bottom as only a very small number of those who visit the blog choose to vote.

That being said, what I have seen so far I'm finding very positive. I wanted to see how both women and men feel about the intimacy of anal, but had even less idea about how men felt than women.

I know it was a huge assumption, but since I can only view the act from my perspective as a woman I thought that most woman who have anal sex would be affected in a similar way. I had thought that the intimate aspect was a female thing, because we are the ones being penetrated, sharing ourselves in a deeply personal way. I'm talking of just the mental side. I feel intensely emotional on several levels. One is that I'm trusting him. Another is that by being possessed in such a way I'm very turned on and excited. The last is that in a way I'm making this offering and the reward I get in return is seeing this incredible pleasure that he gets.

I had thought that for men it was largely the physical side of anal sex that they liked, but from the poll results so far men too are without exception finding anal sex more intimate.

Is this why we feel something beyond the intense physical connectedness when we make love this way? I've asked both my husband and others before but on the whole men are not as good at describing how they feel, or at least not in any way I can relate to. Perhaps you just have to be a man to truly get it.

More thoughts on intimacy

I've been giving some more thought as to why anal sex is more intimate for me. I know I'm not alone so it would be interesting if any of these strike a chord with anyone out there.

I'd touched on it in an earlier post about the surrender aspect. I'd written that without thinking to deeply. At heart, I've now realized, I'm really quite submissive. I don't mean weak, or down-trodden in any sense. I just get quite charged and emotional by giving my self up to someone I love and trust. It's a strange thing when you think about it; both safe and vulnerable at the same time.

Another powerful aspect that only anal sex provides for me is the physical impact, which is more raw and immediate. Something that cannot be ignored, almost something endured. Even as I'm being penetrated I'm asking myself do I really like this, but at the same time always coming back for more and loving that feeling as he gets all the way in. Afterwards, when he's withdrawn, I really notice his absence in a way I never do after vaginal sex. Yet at the same time feel him for hours.

It's these things that make me feel so connected to him. That and we've shared something so special. Perhaps I suffer from a surfeit of empathy because knowing that he's having so much pleasure makes me soar so high.

Anal aesthetics

When I'm talking about intimacy I talking about a feeling; a state of mind. Many things can bring about that special closeness. When you feel relaxed and confident in yourself and your body it's easier to attain that greater sexual bond.

Which brings me around to how a woman's most intimate parts look. We don't always see it. But I've spent many an hour examining 'down below' with a mirror (weird I know) and can appreciate what a man might see. Lets face it, the vulva is not the most attractive thing in nature. We can shave it, or even these days resort to labiaplasty, but in the end it is still really strange looking; "thrown together by a blind man out of the spare parts" as one of my friends put it. We can try and be kind about it but the reality is that it doesn't look that great.

Now, head down an inch lower. By contrast the anus is really neat looking. A simple puckered dimple. Not complicated like its nearby cousin. Beautiful, you could say.

No wonder the men I've known have had such an enduring, curious and intense interest in my ass-hole. When they spend hours playing, stroking and licking me there I can understand them full well.