The no movement method

On a whim recently my husband wanted to see if I could get him to orgasm simply by flexing and squeezing internally while he is in my ass. He was determined it must be possible because he had read about it somewhere (OK, really, you read it somewhere on the internet?!). Now we've tried a few times and while we've had fun experimenting and I've no doubt done wonders for my muscle tone in that area, we have not achieved success.

Not that it doesn't feel nice to both of us, but it just isn't sufficient stimulation to get him there.

Anyone else had any luck? It doesn't seem possible.

Am I different?

Since starting this blog I've often stopped to think why I have such a different attitude to anal sex to most other women. Or even, am I all that different?

Yes, I know if you suggest anal sex to many women they will be horrified, while I'll readily do it. But why? We aren't significantly different in the way we are made. That suggests the only real difference is in the mind.

I experienced anal sex for the first time very early on, so I guess that I didn't ponder much the implications of what I was about to do. And the man to take my virginity was older, more experienced and persuasive; I trusted him and never felt afraid.

Having never had the fear, I struggle to understand it. This is unusual for me as I'm usually good at putting myself in the shoes of others. I'm assuming that fear is the primary problem for most women from what I read; fear that it will hurt, fear of the consequences.

I am aware there could be other, subtle forces at play. Perhaps they are ashamed to associate the anus with pleasure, having been told all their lives that it is dirty.

Another observation from my reading of various sources it that most people stand firmly on one or the other side of the issue. That is some think there are women who will never come to like anal sex, no matter what, and those who think that with the right amount of time and gentle coaxing she can learn to enjoy it. I believe in the latter, but I'd love to hear what others think about this.

More thoughts on intimacy

I've been giving some more thought as to why anal sex is more intimate for me. I know I'm not alone so it would be interesting if any of these strike a chord with anyone out there.

I'd touched on it in an earlier post about the surrender aspect. I'd written that without thinking to deeply. At heart, I've now realized, I'm really quite submissive. I don't mean weak, or down-trodden in any sense. I just get quite charged and emotional by giving my self up to someone I love and trust. It's a strange thing when you think about it; both safe and vulnerable at the same time.

Another powerful aspect that only anal sex provides for me is the physical impact, which is more raw and immediate. Something that cannot be ignored, almost something endured. Even as I'm being penetrated I'm asking myself do I really like this, but at the same time always coming back for more and loving that feeling as he gets all the way in. Afterwards, when he's withdrawn, I really notice his absence in a way I never do after vaginal sex. Yet at the same time feel him for hours.

It's these things that make me feel so connected to him. That and we've shared something so special. Perhaps I suffer from a surfeit of empathy because knowing that he's having so much pleasure makes me soar so high.

Too much of a good thing.

Ouch.

Ok, so I'm an outspoken advocate for anal sex. I think its fun, intimate, sensuous and (for me at least) a  pleasurable and appealing alternative to regular lovemaking. I think it perfectly safe when practised sensibly, and when experienced and with a good understanding partner can be done as often as you like.

Well, everything has its limits.

So, I don't know if its hormonal or what but I was feeling seriously horny all week. Of course DH is never one to turn me down so it turned out that he was lucky enough to get between my cheeks every night last week.

And that's not all.

Sometime last night he woke me wanting a second round. I shouldn't have but I was feeling very sleepy and knew the hard prodding on my asshole wasn't going to go away till he was happy. I was vaguely aware of being lubed up then he slipped inside. It actually felt pretty good at the time (even though this was mostly for his benefit) with him up close behind me as I lay on my side. What is a well known fact is that once guys have cum once (as he'd done earlier) they can usually last considerably longer. Oops.

He must have been working away slowly for more than half an hour before I felt him pulse. He withdrew slowly but for the first time in a while I was definitely feeling delicate back there.

Tonight I promise myself a night off.

Really.