Since starting this blog I've often stopped to think why I have such a different attitude to anal sex to most other women. Or even, am I all that different?
Yes, I know if you suggest anal sex to many women they will be horrified, while I'll readily do it. But why? We aren't significantly different in the way we are made. That suggests the only real difference is in the mind.
I experienced anal sex for the first time very early on, so I guess that I didn't ponder much the implications of what I was about to do. And the man to take my virginity was older, more experienced and persuasive; I trusted him and never felt afraid.
Having never had the fear, I struggle to understand it. This is unusual for me as I'm usually good at putting myself in the shoes of others. I'm assuming that fear is the primary problem for most women from what I read; fear that it will hurt, fear of the consequences.
I am aware there could be other, subtle forces at play. Perhaps they are ashamed to associate the anus with pleasure, having been told all their lives that it is dirty.
Another observation from my reading of various sources it that most people stand firmly on one or the other side of the issue. That is some think there are women who will never come to like anal sex, no matter what, and those who think that with the right amount of time and gentle coaxing she can learn to enjoy it. I believe in the latter, but I'd love to hear what others think about this.
Showing posts with label consequences. Show all posts
Showing posts with label consequences. Show all posts
Thursday, July 18, 2013
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Undesired consequences
Wow. I just checked and it's been month since I posted last. I truthfully meant to keep a more regular record than I have so far. What can I say? Stuff happens...
Work has been more than a little demanding but also other things have started to intrude and take up my spare time, which I can't really go into here.
But for the moment, maybe a little breather and a chance to catch up.
The main thing to report is that we've stuck to our decision and continue to have only anal sex. Neither of us has any regrets and I don't feel (so far) to be missing out or any less satisfied. He's delighted (well, no surprise) but I'll talk a bit more about him in another blog post.
I'd just like to say to any other women who are curious and current enjoy some element of anal play but are hesitant to enjoy more often due to what you may have read elsewhere, that there is nothing to fear. Fear really is the only enemy of anal pleasure. But again, this is a whole subject for another time.
What I wanted to write about this time is something that maybe you can't ignore once you begin having regular anal sex. Now, we make love 3 to 4 times a week and we both like it when he finishes inside. This is a personal choice and for us one that completes the act but it does have its obvious complications. What goes in must come out. Now, when you used to have occasional anal this wasn't such a great problem. Experienced practitioners will know all about it. I'll be blunt: gas, sudden urges to use the bathroom, loose stools or diarrhea. These can all be potential causes of embarrassment or difficulty the next day.
I'll share with you these tips that will help you avoid most of these undesired consequences.
Firstly, if you are using a water-based lube, then stop. Apart from generally adding to the water content of your rectum they include chemicals that seem to stimulate the digestive system and draw even more water out. We've settled on vaseline; though it seems quite thick it melts quickly at body temperature and becomes very slippery and long lasting. Best of all you don't need much.
Next, before and after sex try to avoid foods which stimulate your system to much. The worst offenders are coffee, spicy food and alcohol.
Don't be getting up and being too active straight after sex. Again, this stimulates the bodies natural system.
It's not very romantic, but rather than falling asleep in each others arms after you've made love, head for the bathroom. Sit there for a little while and relax. Gravity will do the rest. You may need to push a little to eject his cum but remember its not healthy to strain your pelvic floor too hard.
Work has been more than a little demanding but also other things have started to intrude and take up my spare time, which I can't really go into here.
But for the moment, maybe a little breather and a chance to catch up.
The main thing to report is that we've stuck to our decision and continue to have only anal sex. Neither of us has any regrets and I don't feel (so far) to be missing out or any less satisfied. He's delighted (well, no surprise) but I'll talk a bit more about him in another blog post.
I'd just like to say to any other women who are curious and current enjoy some element of anal play but are hesitant to enjoy more often due to what you may have read elsewhere, that there is nothing to fear. Fear really is the only enemy of anal pleasure. But again, this is a whole subject for another time.
What I wanted to write about this time is something that maybe you can't ignore once you begin having regular anal sex. Now, we make love 3 to 4 times a week and we both like it when he finishes inside. This is a personal choice and for us one that completes the act but it does have its obvious complications. What goes in must come out. Now, when you used to have occasional anal this wasn't such a great problem. Experienced practitioners will know all about it. I'll be blunt: gas, sudden urges to use the bathroom, loose stools or diarrhea. These can all be potential causes of embarrassment or difficulty the next day.
I'll share with you these tips that will help you avoid most of these undesired consequences.
Firstly, if you are using a water-based lube, then stop. Apart from generally adding to the water content of your rectum they include chemicals that seem to stimulate the digestive system and draw even more water out. We've settled on vaseline; though it seems quite thick it melts quickly at body temperature and becomes very slippery and long lasting. Best of all you don't need much.
Next, before and after sex try to avoid foods which stimulate your system to much. The worst offenders are coffee, spicy food and alcohol.
Don't be getting up and being too active straight after sex. Again, this stimulates the bodies natural system.
It's not very romantic, but rather than falling asleep in each others arms after you've made love, head for the bathroom. Sit there for a little while and relax. Gravity will do the rest. You may need to push a little to eject his cum but remember its not healthy to strain your pelvic floor too hard.
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