I've been giving some more thought as to why anal sex is more intimate for me. I know I'm not alone so it would be interesting if any of these strike a chord with anyone out there.
I'd touched on it in an earlier post about the surrender aspect. I'd written that without thinking to deeply. At heart, I've now realized, I'm really quite submissive. I don't mean weak, or down-trodden in any sense. I just get quite charged and emotional by giving my self up to someone I love and trust. It's a strange thing when you think about it; both safe and vulnerable at the same time.
Another powerful aspect that only anal sex provides for me is the physical impact, which is more raw and immediate. Something that cannot be ignored, almost something endured. Even as I'm being penetrated I'm asking myself do I really like this, but at the same time always coming back for more and loving that feeling as he gets all the way in. Afterwards, when he's withdrawn, I really notice his absence in a way I never do after vaginal sex. Yet at the same time feel him for hours.
It's these things that make me feel so connected to him. That and we've shared something so special. Perhaps I suffer from a surfeit of empathy because knowing that he's having so much pleasure makes me soar so high.
Wednesday, June 5, 2013
Sunday, June 2, 2013
Poll
I've had enough of the blogger poll widget. The results go up, then down, at random. But mostly down. Totally unreliable. If anyone knows of a good dedicated poll system to use please let me know.
Wednesday, May 22, 2013
Undesired consequences
Wow. I just checked and it's been month since I posted last. I truthfully meant to keep a more regular record than I have so far. What can I say? Stuff happens...
Work has been more than a little demanding but also other things have started to intrude and take up my spare time, which I can't really go into here.
But for the moment, maybe a little breather and a chance to catch up.
The main thing to report is that we've stuck to our decision and continue to have only anal sex. Neither of us has any regrets and I don't feel (so far) to be missing out or any less satisfied. He's delighted (well, no surprise) but I'll talk a bit more about him in another blog post.
I'd just like to say to any other women who are curious and current enjoy some element of anal play but are hesitant to enjoy more often due to what you may have read elsewhere, that there is nothing to fear. Fear really is the only enemy of anal pleasure. But again, this is a whole subject for another time.
What I wanted to write about this time is something that maybe you can't ignore once you begin having regular anal sex. Now, we make love 3 to 4 times a week and we both like it when he finishes inside. This is a personal choice and for us one that completes the act but it does have its obvious complications. What goes in must come out. Now, when you used to have occasional anal this wasn't such a great problem. Experienced practitioners will know all about it. I'll be blunt: gas, sudden urges to use the bathroom, loose stools or diarrhea. These can all be potential causes of embarrassment or difficulty the next day.
I'll share with you these tips that will help you avoid most of these undesired consequences.
Firstly, if you are using a water-based lube, then stop. Apart from generally adding to the water content of your rectum they include chemicals that seem to stimulate the digestive system and draw even more water out. We've settled on vaseline; though it seems quite thick it melts quickly at body temperature and becomes very slippery and long lasting. Best of all you don't need much.
Next, before and after sex try to avoid foods which stimulate your system to much. The worst offenders are coffee, spicy food and alcohol.
Don't be getting up and being too active straight after sex. Again, this stimulates the bodies natural system.
It's not very romantic, but rather than falling asleep in each others arms after you've made love, head for the bathroom. Sit there for a little while and relax. Gravity will do the rest. You may need to push a little to eject his cum but remember its not healthy to strain your pelvic floor too hard.
Work has been more than a little demanding but also other things have started to intrude and take up my spare time, which I can't really go into here.
But for the moment, maybe a little breather and a chance to catch up.
The main thing to report is that we've stuck to our decision and continue to have only anal sex. Neither of us has any regrets and I don't feel (so far) to be missing out or any less satisfied. He's delighted (well, no surprise) but I'll talk a bit more about him in another blog post.
I'd just like to say to any other women who are curious and current enjoy some element of anal play but are hesitant to enjoy more often due to what you may have read elsewhere, that there is nothing to fear. Fear really is the only enemy of anal pleasure. But again, this is a whole subject for another time.
What I wanted to write about this time is something that maybe you can't ignore once you begin having regular anal sex. Now, we make love 3 to 4 times a week and we both like it when he finishes inside. This is a personal choice and for us one that completes the act but it does have its obvious complications. What goes in must come out. Now, when you used to have occasional anal this wasn't such a great problem. Experienced practitioners will know all about it. I'll be blunt: gas, sudden urges to use the bathroom, loose stools or diarrhea. These can all be potential causes of embarrassment or difficulty the next day.
I'll share with you these tips that will help you avoid most of these undesired consequences.
Firstly, if you are using a water-based lube, then stop. Apart from generally adding to the water content of your rectum they include chemicals that seem to stimulate the digestive system and draw even more water out. We've settled on vaseline; though it seems quite thick it melts quickly at body temperature and becomes very slippery and long lasting. Best of all you don't need much.
Next, before and after sex try to avoid foods which stimulate your system to much. The worst offenders are coffee, spicy food and alcohol.
Don't be getting up and being too active straight after sex. Again, this stimulates the bodies natural system.
It's not very romantic, but rather than falling asleep in each others arms after you've made love, head for the bathroom. Sit there for a little while and relax. Gravity will do the rest. You may need to push a little to eject his cum but remember its not healthy to strain your pelvic floor too hard.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
Too much of a good thing.
Ouch.
Ok, so I'm an outspoken advocate for anal sex. I think its fun, intimate, sensuous and (for me at least) a pleasurable and appealing alternative to regular lovemaking. I think it perfectly safe when practised sensibly, and when experienced and with a good understanding partner can be done as often as you like.
Well, everything has its limits.
So, I don't know if its hormonal or what but I was feeling seriously horny all week. Of course DH is never one to turn me down so it turned out that he was lucky enough to get between my cheeks every night last week.
And that's not all.
Sometime last night he woke me wanting a second round. I shouldn't have but I was feeling very sleepy and knew the hard prodding on my asshole wasn't going to go away till he was happy. I was vaguely aware of being lubed up then he slipped inside. It actually felt pretty good at the time (even though this was mostly for his benefit) with him up close behind me as I lay on my side. What is a well known fact is that once guys have cum once (as he'd done earlier) they can usually last considerably longer. Oops.
He must have been working away slowly for more than half an hour before I felt him pulse. He withdrew slowly but for the first time in a while I was definitely feeling delicate back there.
Tonight I promise myself a night off.
Really.
Ok, so I'm an outspoken advocate for anal sex. I think its fun, intimate, sensuous and (for me at least) a pleasurable and appealing alternative to regular lovemaking. I think it perfectly safe when practised sensibly, and when experienced and with a good understanding partner can be done as often as you like.
Well, everything has its limits.
So, I don't know if its hormonal or what but I was feeling seriously horny all week. Of course DH is never one to turn me down so it turned out that he was lucky enough to get between my cheeks every night last week.
And that's not all.
Sometime last night he woke me wanting a second round. I shouldn't have but I was feeling very sleepy and knew the hard prodding on my asshole wasn't going to go away till he was happy. I was vaguely aware of being lubed up then he slipped inside. It actually felt pretty good at the time (even though this was mostly for his benefit) with him up close behind me as I lay on my side. What is a well known fact is that once guys have cum once (as he'd done earlier) they can usually last considerably longer. Oops.
He must have been working away slowly for more than half an hour before I felt him pulse. He withdrew slowly but for the first time in a while I was definitely feeling delicate back there.
Tonight I promise myself a night off.
Really.
Wednesday, January 9, 2013
Happy New Year.
Well the holidays are behind us now and we can all resume our normal lives. I do love that time of year but all the same I'm relieved when I can pick up my routine. I need that kind of normality to work, think and be creative.
Time for some fun too. Unfortunately, what with parties, visiting friends and family, others staying with my DH and I didn't get as much quality time together during December. When we did, it was always of a more predictable nature. I wouldn't call it quite "stuck in a rut" but do you ever find yourself doing the exact same things over again and in the same order, almost like auto-pilot, when making love? Sometimes I'm content with this and just want more of the same. Take the last month for example: Every time he starts out by licking me, almost bringing me to the brink then working down and I lift my legs so he can get at my anus. He just loves working his tongue in and around there and it does feel amazing. After about fifteen minutes of that (and you can almost set your clock by it!) he stops, I pull my legs up and he's on me and sliding up my ass. I usually like it when he's behind but for some reason I can't get enough of doing it this way with me on my back, in a slightly modified missionary style.
Time for some fun too. Unfortunately, what with parties, visiting friends and family, others staying with my DH and I didn't get as much quality time together during December. When we did, it was always of a more predictable nature. I wouldn't call it quite "stuck in a rut" but do you ever find yourself doing the exact same things over again and in the same order, almost like auto-pilot, when making love? Sometimes I'm content with this and just want more of the same. Take the last month for example: Every time he starts out by licking me, almost bringing me to the brink then working down and I lift my legs so he can get at my anus. He just loves working his tongue in and around there and it does feel amazing. After about fifteen minutes of that (and you can almost set your clock by it!) he stops, I pull my legs up and he's on me and sliding up my ass. I usually like it when he's behind but for some reason I can't get enough of doing it this way with me on my back, in a slightly modified missionary style.
Monday, November 26, 2012
Busy Busy Busy
A hectic work schedule and other commitments have sadly meant I haven't had as much times as I'd wished to spend on this blog.
But fear not!
I hope to post in greater length soon, but until then this is how things stand:
We've now had a few weeks without any vaginal sex. So far a great success; I'm not missing it, he's not missing it (no surprise there). In a way it has been strangely liberating. Now that there isn't any misunderstanding or differing expectations, both in tune as it were, our sex life has already improved markedly.
I don't know how long this "honeymoon" will last but my husband is definitely being more romantic, attentive and loving than before. Now he knows what's on the menu he's more relaxed and spending the time on me to make sure I'm satisfied.
Till next time...
But fear not!
I hope to post in greater length soon, but until then this is how things stand:
We've now had a few weeks without any vaginal sex. So far a great success; I'm not missing it, he's not missing it (no surprise there). In a way it has been strangely liberating. Now that there isn't any misunderstanding or differing expectations, both in tune as it were, our sex life has already improved markedly.
I don't know how long this "honeymoon" will last but my husband is definitely being more romantic, attentive and loving than before. Now he knows what's on the menu he's more relaxed and spending the time on me to make sure I'm satisfied.
Till next time...
Thursday, November 1, 2012
Accepting reality
In my first post I spoke about how vaginal sex had become less frequent between my husband and myself and how we'd been thinking about ceasing that aspect of our sex life entirely. Actually, it was he who'd been thinking about it, but when it was put to me and I thought about it, and also finding out there were other couples who had been doing just that, well it just started to seem like a natural progression.
No, I'm not some kind of freak (or at least I hope not). I'm just a normal girl who is really into anal sex, but as always there's more to the story.
First to start with my husband. He really likes women's asses. I knew that early on and he'd make a point of saying what a nice one he though I had or pointing out others he admired (grrrr) but prior to me he had no experience of anal sex. Of course he'd tried with girlfriends but had been knocked back and so it had remained just a fantasy for him. Early only I suggested we give it a go and of course he leapt at the chance! Okay, so maybe he was a little more enthusiastic, shall we say, than I'd normally like but it was such a turn on all the same that we made anal love twice that night. And so it started as the occasional alternative, though it later emerged that he didn't ask for it more often as he assumed I couldn't possibly like it more often, which made him feel uncomfortable. So, yeah, the age old problem of man and women not understanding each other.
Over time though, it became totally clear to me where his preference lay. He'd hint, and I'd let him and so we started to gravitate over to more and more anal. The difference in how he behaved, how much it excited him and the obvious difference in the pleasure he got out of it meant that I didn't mind. In truth it made me happier because his heart just wasn't in it during regular intercourse.
So we've arrived at the point where has admitted he'd now rather not have any vaginal intercourse at all. No, I'm not being used, and no, I'm not a push over. I can deal with this because:
No, I'm not some kind of freak (or at least I hope not). I'm just a normal girl who is really into anal sex, but as always there's more to the story.
First to start with my husband. He really likes women's asses. I knew that early on and he'd make a point of saying what a nice one he though I had or pointing out others he admired (grrrr) but prior to me he had no experience of anal sex. Of course he'd tried with girlfriends but had been knocked back and so it had remained just a fantasy for him. Early only I suggested we give it a go and of course he leapt at the chance! Okay, so maybe he was a little more enthusiastic, shall we say, than I'd normally like but it was such a turn on all the same that we made anal love twice that night. And so it started as the occasional alternative, though it later emerged that he didn't ask for it more often as he assumed I couldn't possibly like it more often, which made him feel uncomfortable. So, yeah, the age old problem of man and women not understanding each other.
Over time though, it became totally clear to me where his preference lay. He'd hint, and I'd let him and so we started to gravitate over to more and more anal. The difference in how he behaved, how much it excited him and the obvious difference in the pleasure he got out of it meant that I didn't mind. In truth it made me happier because his heart just wasn't in it during regular intercourse.
So we've arrived at the point where has admitted he'd now rather not have any vaginal intercourse at all. No, I'm not being used, and no, I'm not a push over. I can deal with this because:
- He loves it and I know it makes him happy
- When he's happy, I'm happy
- I find anal sex more intimate
- From a purely physical point of view anal is at least the equal of vaginal for me
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