Something a little different

Last night I took the advice of one of my readers, suggesting to DH we change from the usual position. Now he's a real man of habit so this switch wasn't exactly done with much enthusiasm. For the most part he likes to be behind me because he likes to be in control..and for the view, of course. Now mostly I don't mind as part of the fun is the submission, after all, but I'd got an idea and for once was determined to carry it out.

I can't remember the last time I went on top, but now I've had a reminder I'll be trying to persuade him more often. When we had done so in the past I was straddling him but lying over so we were face to face. This time, as per recommendations, it was more of a squat above him with my feet flat on the bed. Okay, so you can't get so much movement like this and it can get a little tiring on the legs, but for deep penetration it's very good. With the help of gravity and with your legs pulled up...wow. It was actually a strange sensation, almost a tickle as he slid way up inside. I had a tingling right up my spine the entire time. Another advantage, as we discovered is that in this position you can really work your internal muscles, by alternately pushing and pulling (like you're trying to hold something in).

Verdict: Can be hard work, and don't expect a lot of movement. We found we had to grind against each other more than thrust. However, I felt totally full and he loved being able to get inside as far as he was able.

Feedback welcome

I love to hear how other women (and men!) feel about the subjects I raise in my blog. Please feel free to post any comments, questions or thoughts you have.

It would be great to know if my experiences touch others, or even if your experience is entirely different. Hopefully together we can get a better picture of how women really feel about the last taboo (and just maybe go a little way towards breaking it down).

So don't be shy!

More thoughts on intimacy

I've been giving some more thought as to why anal sex is more intimate for me. I know I'm not alone so it would be interesting if any of these strike a chord with anyone out there.

I'd touched on it in an earlier post about the surrender aspect. I'd written that without thinking to deeply. At heart, I've now realized, I'm really quite submissive. I don't mean weak, or down-trodden in any sense. I just get quite charged and emotional by giving my self up to someone I love and trust. It's a strange thing when you think about it; both safe and vulnerable at the same time.

Another powerful aspect that only anal sex provides for me is the physical impact, which is more raw and immediate. Something that cannot be ignored, almost something endured. Even as I'm being penetrated I'm asking myself do I really like this, but at the same time always coming back for more and loving that feeling as he gets all the way in. Afterwards, when he's withdrawn, I really notice his absence in a way I never do after vaginal sex. Yet at the same time feel him for hours.

It's these things that make me feel so connected to him. That and we've shared something so special. Perhaps I suffer from a surfeit of empathy because knowing that he's having so much pleasure makes me soar so high.

Poll

I've had enough of the blogger poll widget. The results go up, then down, at random. But mostly down. Totally unreliable. If anyone knows of a good dedicated poll system to use please let me know.

Undesired consequences

Wow. I just checked and it's been month since I posted last. I truthfully meant to keep a more regular record than I have so far. What can I say? Stuff happens...

Work has been more than a little demanding but also other things have started to intrude and take up my spare time, which I can't really go into here.

But for the moment, maybe a little breather and a chance to catch up.

The main thing to report is that we've stuck to our decision and continue to have only anal sex. Neither of us has any regrets and I don't feel (so far) to be missing out or any less satisfied. He's delighted (well, no surprise) but I'll talk a bit more about him in another blog post.

I'd just like to say to any other women who are curious and current enjoy some element of anal play but are hesitant to enjoy more often due to what you may have read elsewhere, that there is nothing to fear. Fear really is the only enemy of anal pleasure. But again, this is a whole subject for another time.

What I wanted to write about this time is something that maybe you can't ignore once you begin having regular anal sex. Now, we make love 3 to 4 times a week and we both like it when he finishes inside. This is a personal choice and for us one that completes the act but it does have its obvious complications. What goes in must come out. Now, when you used to have occasional anal this wasn't such a great problem. Experienced practitioners will know all about it. I'll be blunt: gas, sudden urges to use the bathroom, loose stools or diarrhea. These can all be potential causes of embarrassment or difficulty the next day.

I'll share with you these tips that will help you avoid most of these undesired consequences.

Firstly, if you are using a water-based lube, then stop. Apart from generally adding to the water content of your rectum they include chemicals that seem to stimulate the digestive system and draw even more water out. We've settled on vaseline; though it seems quite thick it melts quickly at body temperature and becomes very slippery and long lasting. Best of all you don't need much.

Next, before and after sex try to avoid foods which stimulate your system to much. The worst offenders are coffee, spicy food and alcohol.

Don't be getting up and being too active straight after sex. Again, this stimulates the bodies natural system.

It's not very romantic, but rather than falling asleep in each others arms after you've made love, head for the bathroom. Sit there for a little while and relax. Gravity will do the rest. You may need to push a little to eject his cum but remember its not healthy to strain your pelvic floor too hard.

Too much of a good thing.

Ouch.

Ok, so I'm an outspoken advocate for anal sex. I think its fun, intimate, sensuous and (for me at least) a  pleasurable and appealing alternative to regular lovemaking. I think it perfectly safe when practised sensibly, and when experienced and with a good understanding partner can be done as often as you like.

Well, everything has its limits.

So, I don't know if its hormonal or what but I was feeling seriously horny all week. Of course DH is never one to turn me down so it turned out that he was lucky enough to get between my cheeks every night last week.

And that's not all.

Sometime last night he woke me wanting a second round. I shouldn't have but I was feeling very sleepy and knew the hard prodding on my asshole wasn't going to go away till he was happy. I was vaguely aware of being lubed up then he slipped inside. It actually felt pretty good at the time (even though this was mostly for his benefit) with him up close behind me as I lay on my side. What is a well known fact is that once guys have cum once (as he'd done earlier) they can usually last considerably longer. Oops.

He must have been working away slowly for more than half an hour before I felt him pulse. He withdrew slowly but for the first time in a while I was definitely feeling delicate back there.

Tonight I promise myself a night off.

Really.

Happy New Year.

Well the holidays are behind us now and we can all resume our normal lives. I do love that time of year but all the same I'm relieved when I can pick up my routine. I need that kind of normality to work, think and be creative.

Time for some fun too. Unfortunately, what with parties, visiting friends and family, others staying with my DH and I didn't get as much quality time together during December. When we did, it was always of a more predictable nature. I wouldn't call it quite "stuck in a rut" but do you ever find yourself doing the exact same things over again and in the same order, almost like auto-pilot, when making love? Sometimes I'm content with this and just want more of the same. Take the last month for example: Every time he starts out by licking me, almost bringing me to the brink then working down and I lift my legs so he can get at my anus. He just loves working his tongue in and around there and it does feel amazing. After about fifteen minutes of that (and you can almost set your clock by it!) he stops, I pull my legs up and he's on me and sliding up my ass. I usually like it when he's behind but for some reason I can't get enough of doing it this way with me on my back, in a slightly modified missionary style.